Can't go to the footy, I'm giving the daughter away...

JH is a simple man of simple 1950s Sydneycentric values, so missing an AFL grand final because his daughter was getting married at the same time didn't trouble him that much. Though it did upset lots of Melbournites.

Melanie Howard married Rowan McDonald (no relation to Ronald, apparently) at the father of the bride's taxpayer-funded residence at Kirribilli House on Saturday afternoon, September 27. The ceremony started during the fourth quarter of Brisbane's drubbing of Collingwood.

There were rumours at one point that the date of the wedding had been arranged to avoid the Rugby World Cup (October 10-November 22) but there appears to be nothing in this.

While JH missed the Festival of the Boot Part One, he was present at Part Two on Sunday night, October 5, when Penrith beat the Sydney Roosters (no his beloved St George didn't come close this year). And the Cheshire Cat was up there on the podium to hand out the premiership trophy to Penrith captain Craig Gower.

(Yes, Bob Hawke does have a lot to answer for...)

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