"What depresses me most is not the fact that England lose in Australia, but that they're laying down and dying."
These were the words of Ray Illingworth yesterday, one of the many who have tried and failed the seemingly impossible task of elevating England to a competitive cricketing nation.
And on the markets this Saturday morning: Dax are up, Dow closes on a record high, and Australia are 100-1 on to win the Ashes (source: Paddypower)
Having missed almost all of the second day's play due to AGMs and children (although I did happen to chance upon seeing the conclusion of the England innings), I'll refer instead to the comments of others.
We could all go insane wondering What If Monty Played In Brisbane And Adelaide? At least he didn't get Mister Cricket, whose Test career batting average has climbed to 85.35.
Still, I'm going to stick my neck out and say that Australia will take a first innings lead some time Friday afternoon.
My Midwinter-Midwinters: Monty Panesar 3 pts; Michael Hussey 2 pts; Steve Harmison 1 point.
Nine Blacktown first grade cricketers decided to pile into a lift built to carry five people when they left the field for the tea break in Saturday's game against University of NSW. An hour and a quarter later they finally got out after technicians had worked furiously to free them.
The Inner West Courier takes up the story.
No I'm not still in shock after Australia's remarkable victory in the Second Test last Tuesday, I simply haven't had the time to write about it over the past week.
But to keep the Midwinter-Midwinter tally up to date, the points for Adelaide Day Five were - Shane Warne 3 pts; Ricky Ponting 2 pts; Mike Hussey 1 pt.
Amusing little stoush hotting up between Cricket Australia and the Murdoch Media Monolith over intellectual property rights to Test highlights.
The Murdochariat are showing three minutes of video highlights each day on the Fox Sports website, despite Cricket Australia issuing a fatwa saying they are only allowed thirty seconds. Murdochistas at News Ltd assert that they are making "fair use" of the footage for reportage of a news event.
Australia - you know, the team that conceded
591 551 runs in the first innings - has won the Second Test.
More when I recover from the shock.
What's the chances of a sporting declaration by Freddie Flintoff some time on Tuesday afternoon? You probably know the answer as well as I. Shall we start woofing Paul Collingwood now?
Midwinter-Midwinter points for Day Four: Matthew Hoggard 3 pts; Michael Clarke 2 pts; Adam Gilchrist 1 pt.
I'll roundup all the audio roundups at the conclusion of the Test when I have time to listen to them.
My lack of updates over the weekend is not a sign of dismay over England's superb performance at the Adelaide Oval - my feelings about England are indeed quite the opposite. I've just been either too busy or too tired.
Australia suddenly looks brittle. Did I mention 2005 revisited?
Midwinter-Midwinter points for Saturday: Paul Collingwood 3 pts; Kevin Pietersen 2 pts; Stuart Clark 1 pt.
Midwinter-Midwinters for Sunday: Matthew Hoggard 3 pts; Ricky Ponting 2 pts; Michael Hussey 1 pt.