Clarence AFL Tasmania footballer Tim Orchard has been suspended indefinitely by his club and ordered to undertake counselling after wilfully permitting his manhood to be televised live on ABC television in the dressing sheds after his club's game on Saturday.

Television has a long history in this country of candid and over-intrusive pre and post-match visits to the dressing room while players are displaying their lack of club colours. Orchard, however, was (otherwise) fully clothed at the time.

The game was played on the 100th birthday of Hobart's greatest son, Errol Flynn. A total coincidence and, apparently, completely lacking in comparison.

Australian Associated Press picks up the story under the brilliant headline "Footballer's penis under microscope".