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Even the fruits of victory would be Ashes in our mouth

ANDREW DENTON: What are you going to do with the rest of your life?

MARK LATHAM: Well I'm very happy being a home dad and the arrangements we've got at home are fantastic so why change a winning formula?

ANDREW DENTON: When the boys are 16, 17, 18, when they're getting out of the house, what are you going to do?

MARK LATHAM: I'll be carrying their cricket bags...

[studio audience] LAUGHTER

MARK LATHAM: ...As they play for Australia and try and reclaim the Ashes.


True Disbelievers

It still hurts. Seventeen days later, and the re-election of John Winston Howard for a fourth term of government is still unbelievable. Despite his government's appalling track record on humanitarian issues, on foreign policy, on trade relations and industrial development, despite its under-publicised shortcomings in economic management, the Liberals and Nationals are back with an increased majority. Worse still, they will hold at least half of the senate seats from 1 July 2005, and might just (for we still do not know for sure) gain an absolute majority.

Mark Latham: A transcript primer

KERRY O'BRIEN: ...your reference to Tony Abbott and the Queen in June last year where you described Tony Abbott as, quote, "Basically hanging out of the backside of the British monarch whenever he can."

What is this obsession you have with bottoms?

MARK LATHAM: I've no particular obsession with bottoms, it's a figure of speech --

KERRY O'BRIEN: Howard the arse-licker and the brown nose kissing bums, as you put it, Abbott hanging out of the Queen's backside, the conga line of suckholes.

Mr Latham goes to Townsville

When I read yesterday that Mark Latham was promising to raise Townsville's profile as a defence base, I thought he was planning a special assignment for the North Queensland Cowboys. As it happens, it's a promise to establish an infantry battalion and a parachute battalion in the city, which is situated - fancy - in the marginal Liberal seat of Herbert.

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